August 2024

Hello from Bangkok!

Originally I had hoped to send this blog as a way to occupy myself during our 15-hour flight from Boston to Seoul. Unfortunately, the plane had no wifi so I had to entertain myself with 4 movies! But this is not a real problem - Because we made it to Thailand! #DreamComeTrue!

A Few FAQs We Received

So Why Thailand?

Prior to today, I had never been to Asia. We had originally planned to take Jack when he was younger, but Covid happened, so plans were delayed.

Sean had a significant birthday this year and we wanted to celebrate with a trip. So we decided now was the time to finally take Jack to Asia. We narrowed it down to Japan or Thailand. While making the decision, we continued to hear from various places that Thailand is one of the most child friendly places to visit so we thought we’d give it a try!

What’s the Plan?

We are stying 4-5 days in both Bangkok, Chang Mai and Phuket. We decided to conclude our trip with a few nights in Singapore as it has been a place I’ve wanted to visit since college and reading the Crazy Rich Asian books has made me want to visit even more!

How Are We Going to Get to Thailand?

After spending way too many hours looking at flights, knowing that it was going to be miserable-whatever - we opted to fly from Boston to Seoul (a 15 hour flight) then Seoul to Bangkok (a 5 hour flight). We had a 2 hour layover in Seoul. It was awful, but once again Jack provided to be amazing. He slept on both flights, watched plenty of shows and played plenty of video games. He also has gotten into playing the card game “war” as well the Highlights magazine so those were great distractions as well.

Not going to sugar coat it - Flight was not fun and I’m in denial that we are going to do a similar flight on our way home.

Any travel hacks to recommend?

Jack really likes Ring Pops and we have a huge stash because people put them in every birthday party gift bag. So I brought a few and during our layover, when our bodies were on 4:00 am time, and we needed to get Jack through customs, the Ring Pop was amazing! I know every kid responds to sugar differently but for Jack it gave him a great sugar boost to get him through the transfer and then he crashed.

Bangkok Highlights

Street Market Food (specifically Chinatown Street Market)
Day trip to Ayutthaya, the ancient capital of Thailand (we had a GREAT tour guide who was fantastic with Jack)
Visiting the Grand Palace and seeing the Emerald Buddha
Jack’s first Tuk Tuk ride at night
Eating at Err (a great contrast to the street food scene)
Our hotel’s infinity pool

Anxiety

Leading up to this trip, I experienced travel anxiety at a greater intensity than I had in the past. I took some time to reflected a bit on what was causing this:

The looming 15 hour flight?
Taking Jack to a place neither Sean or I had visited?
My first trip to Asia?
The heat and humidity limiting what I can do?
Was it going to rain the entire time making the dreaded 15 hour flights not worth it?
Is this whole trip going to be an expensive disaster?

Contributing to all of this was the fact I was staying up until 11:00 pm each night watching the Olympics so I was increasingly sleep deprived.

This anxiety was uncomfortable and unnerving. It was becoming increasingly difficult to stay in a good mindset as we prepared for this trip.

However, I was so fortunate to have a group of friends that came around to help me in the week leading up to our departure.

A friend from North Carolina had made a last minute trip to Boston and noticed how on edge I was - it was great to talk through everything with her (especially since she is a therapist!),
One of my favorite mom friends totally stepped up to help me in my absentminded-ness - like when we left Jack’s backpack at a petting zoo,
Our like-a-family-member-friend Amy put up with my chaos like only she can do,
My friend Quinn invited me to join her for ridiculously priced ice-cream to get my mind of the trip by talking about things like Steve Kerr dissing Jayson Tatum at the Olympics
and my personal trainer helped me to see that I can do more than I typically think I can even outside the gym.

What I loved about each of these people - is that neither of these friends question whether we should take this trip. Rather, they knew how important it was to us and the week leading up to it, they were so pivotal in helping us actually get on the plane.

So - if you experience travel anxiety, know it is normal - I think it should be talked about more!

Also, I hope that in all of my conversations with friends about travel, I am like these friends who enable people to work through their anxiety to get on the plane, get in the car, board the boat - and take the trip!

Seat at the Table

Earlier this summer I read a beautiful book - The Lord is My Courage by KJ Ramsey. The author reflects on each section of Psalms 23 and how it can address issues of trauma and various mental and physical challenges. It was one of those books that I found at just the right time.

I don’t have the book with me nor do I have the journal where I jotted down a phrase that has stuck with me, so this is a paraphrase. The author discussed how she and her husband had friends over for dinner and everyone shared various challenges they were experiencing. In describing why the dinner was healing for her, she wrote:

Certainty pulled up a chair for Curiosity and allowed her to speak.

This phrase resonated with me and this trip has brought the phrase to mind on several occasions.

In the faith community where I was raised, answers were provided as to why my faith was “superior” to others. There was a sense of certainty to all of this, that never sat right with me. I always had a lot of questions, but rarely felt as though I could ask them for a variety of reasons.

I continue to be captivated by the story of Jesus. I call myself a Christian and for me it is a faith that provides great meaning to my life. I want to live my life in a way that reflects the mysterious love of Christ.

In visiting Bangkok and experiencing what I’m seeing, I am enjoying curiosity being a welcome travel companion. I’m not necessarily looking for answers, but allowing myself to ask the questions that I so desperately wanted to ask when I was younger.

Sean and I have mentioned a handful of times already on this trip, that we are doing and planning less. This is very out of character for us. Yet in doing so, it has allowed us to enjoy more moments to be still, to reflect on what we are seeing and for me - I’m learning to ask questions. I’m not sure if I’ll ever get sufficient answers - yet I’m really enjoying Curiosity as a travel companion. She is welcome on any trip.

Chiang Mai Highlights

Night Bazaar

Elephant Nature Park
Even more Tuk Tuk rides
Lunch at Fern Forest Cafe (thanks to childhood friend Sam for the suggestion!)
Playing at our hotel’s pool with friends from around the world
Sunday Night Artisan Market

After a wonderful five days in Bangkok we boarded a plane to head up to the north of Thailand to Chiang Mai. We had heard of this city as a place that is popular in the backpacking community as well as base of operations for NGOs. The make up of our fellow travelers on the plane, proved this to be the case.

As we stepped out of the hotel we were grateful to notice that the temperature and humidity were a smidge lower than in Bangkok - but still high!

We booked our hotel because:

It had a pool
Close to the Night Bazaar
and we could use our points!

After relaxing a bit from our flight at the pool (which Jack was thrilled there was a slide!) we headed to the night bazaar in the midst of a torrential down pour.

Night Bazaar

The night bazaar lived up to its reputation as it’s selection was sure to please anyone (there was even a stall that sold toy Tuk Tuks, which Jack had been looking to purchase for several days at this point).

Our favorite was a stall that sold only one dish. Sean tends to be of the opinion that if someone sells just one item - that item is more often than not - exceptional. This once again proved to be correct - there was a honey pork vendor who was fantastic. How a cooking show hasn’t found him yet, I’m not sure. And if you visit Chiang Mai - this is my #1 recommendation for food!

Jack has become a connoisseur of chicken satay. I liked the spring rolls and we sampled a host of other dishes like cashew chicken, pork dumplings, fried rice. There was also this super fun Cold Stone Creamery like vender that rolled up ice cream and was a favorite to watch being made. Of the four nights we stayed in Chiang Mai - we visited three times! This was a favorite spot to enjoy as the acoustic music playing in the background along with some good gin and tonics added to the ambiance.

On Sunday evening there is an artisan market in the main section of town. A friend of mine shared that when she went she needed to leave twice to go get more money because there was so many wonderful treasures. So we went prepared and - WOW! What a place to experience.

There were plenty of the mass produced “artisan” items to purchase but interspersed were some people who were actively making their creations. One couple was carving wooden postcards that we of course purchased a few that they personalized for us. Jack of course wanted to get a few more tuk tuks - after looking for so long and not finding any, Chiang Mai seemed to be the place to get toy tuk tuks!

We also got a handful of gifts for family and some fund things for friends. If you are planning a trip to Chiang Mai, definitely plan on staying on a Sunday - it’s worth scheduling the trip around this event!

"“My Life Long Sorrow”

As any acolyte of Anne Shirley knows, red hair can be quite a hassle. I wasn’t sure what the response to Jack and my having red hair would be, but I had heard that it can get attention and I wanted Jack to be prepared for this.

I tried to communicate that his hair is just one of many things that make him special and that where we are going, some people may have never seen a young boy with red hair. That because of this, people may give him more attention than is typical and may try to touch his hair.

I said that he does not need to be fine with strangers touching him and that when this happens to offer to give the person a high-five instead or to let us know.

During this trip people have noticed and thankfully more often than not, they will ask either Sean or me about it. The other day, one of guides asked me what we call his hair, as she did not know the English word.

In the story of Anne of Green Gables, Anne’s hair often symbolizes all that has gone wrong in her life - her curse, her life long sorrow. Reading the story as a child, I resonated with this. Being different is often beyond one’s control and can be such an awful feeling.

Traveling to a place where you are in the minority and different often creates this feeling.

However, so far his red hair hasn’t seemed to be a problem for him and maybe he’s enjoying the benefits of extra attention, candies and stuffies, the wonderful, kind and generous Thai people shower upon him.

On the flip side of this, Jack is experiencing this discomfort from a place of priviledge. I hope that this experience can in the future help him have more sympathy for people who are in a minority that do not have the benefits he has in dealing with these uncomfortable situations.

Elephants!

When we decided upon visiting Thailand, I knew that going to visit elephants was going to be one of our priorities and a highlight of the trip. I’ve followed enough travel bloggers, watched enough travel shows and read enough travel publications to know that the issue of visiting animals as a tourist is full of contention.

There is a responsibility as a tourist (especially as a Western tourist) to make sure that travel is matching ones personal ethics. For me that means when we travel we leave having gained new information, and therefor becoming a better citizens of the world. It also means that when we visit a place, we do not intentionally do harm to the community we visit and limit to the best of our abilities the unintentional harm that we can do as a tourist.

So when I started researching “visiting elephants in Thailand” - I spent hours conflicted over what the right decision would be for us. I learned the amount of harm that tourists have caused to elephants because of “circus-type” shows that are popular. That riding elephants can cause damage and that using hooks to train elephants is just horrible.

I also learned that there is no accrediting system in Thailand to know if a place we are visiting adheres to a certain set of humane standards for animals. I also learned that the “circus-type” elephant shows are an economic driver in the local economy.

All of this brought me to a place of inner conflict. I wanted to see elephants, but wanted to do so ethically and it just all seemed so complicated. A good guiding principle I found was to pick a “no touch” sanctuary, but since we were not using a travel agency for this part of our trip, we were going on reviews that are not always the most trustworthy.

Fortunately, two Read Far and Widers (Dawn and Melissa) had recommended that I start watching the Netflix show Somebody Feed Phil and I’m so glad I did! Because on this show I discovered the Elephant Nature Park. Finally I found a place that seemed to check all the boxes for me.

And what an extraordinary day it was for us when we visited!

We learned so much and had such an amazing time interacting with the elephants without touching, riding or feeding them! We saw the damage that can be inflicted upon elephants by humans but we also saw the beautiful and inspiring work that humans are doing to care for these injured animals.

In showing us around the sanctuary, our guide explained the systemic issues in animal tourism that they are working to address. How to ethically rescue the animals, provide jobs for those in the local communities, care for animals, secure food from local farms and educate tourists were all topics that were addressed. I greatly respected that even if they decided something different from another sanctuary, the organization seemed to think about what was best for the elephants and local community more than the economic driver of tourism.

I am so glad that one of Jack’s first experiences in seeing animals as a tourist, it was in this setting. That he was taught how to care and respect elephants and not to inflict harm. I hope that it is a day he will remember for years to come and makes him a better citizen of the world. And I hope that we left this area of Chaing Mai having done as little harm as possible.

Phuket Highlights

Our day boating around islands in the Ao Phang Nga National Park
The treatment of Jack by the staff of our hotel
Hermit Crab Hunting
Downtime

Islands

So anyone who has read this blog for a bit, probably is aware that I have red hair and am fair skinned. This means that the stereotype is true for me - I strongly don’t like heat. However, I still want to live my life and experience amazing things despite my disdain for heat and humidity. Unfortunately for Sean, he gets to experience life with me as I try to have pleasant experiences in the heat and humidity. (Sounds like a future blog post!).

So, taking into the reality that I hate heat - how do we do a tour of the islands off of Phuket in Thailand at the end of August with “feels like 105F weather?”

We started researching and there are several group “party style” boats. Music, drinks, dancing, large group and a full day. Spending a day in heat and humidity with strangers and loud music did not sound like my idea of fun, despite the raving reviews of these tours on Trip Advisor.

Instead - we opted to reach out to our hotel’s concierge and ask their opinion. This is a perk that most hotels offer that I don’t take advantage of nearly enough. The suggested a few group tours and then one private boat option that was significantly more expensive than the group tours, but as Sean and I discussed - we thought the added incrimental expense would be well - worth it!

I’m so glad we came to this conclusion because what an incredible experience we had. Our guides were so wonderful - especially with Jack. We were on a small boat and they guided us around the islands, answering our questions and allowing us to go on a more flexible timeline which was great as we had a 5 year old along for the ride.

We could spend more time at the places that were of more interest to Jack than others and not spend as much time in places that were not kindergarten traveler friendly. Because the boat was smaller than the party boats, it could also go quicker and we were able to spend less time going from island to island. In addition, instead of spending the whole day on the boat because that was the schedule, we were able to end our time at a nice beach and then head home sooner than we expected feeling as though we got so much out of our trip.

So this was a great lessoned confirmed - Know your weaknesses, and don’t try to be a hero. There is no gold star for “survived a miserable boat trip and saved a few bucks!” Rather there is a life long memory of saving a few bucks on shopping, food and drinks to spend a bit more on a boat trip to help make the heat and humidity more bearable as you enjoy one of the most beautiful places on earth!

Thailand and Singapore