The Keys to Relax
As many people who follow this blog are aware, I’m a former political consultant. So much of my travel during this time of my life revolved around the election cycle, or more specifically the conclusion of it. With this information, I’m sure it comes as no surprise that after the 2016 election, I desperately needed LOTS of time to decompress.
My long time friend Rebecca and I had the wonderful idea to enjoy a bookish get away to Key West the beginning of January. (fyi - you can find Rebecca @bookworminboston - Give her a follow if that’s your thing. She’s great and many of the photos in this post are hers). The primary goals of the trip were to pay homage to Judy Blume, Ernest Hemingway and his cats all while soaking up some sunshine, drinking cocktails and binge watching the recently released second season of Fuller House - we are totally Uncle Jessie fans.
This sounds like a perfect plan - Right?
For the most part it was except for a rather traumatic beginning of the trip which will be discussed at the end of this post. For now, let’s buckle up and enjoy some Florida Fun!
So our trip began in the Ft. Lauderdale airport (which will be discussed at length later) and we made our way to a rather great but modest hotel in South Beach. We arrived late at night and the following morning I enjoyed watching the sunrise on the beach while Rebecca went for a run. We brunched and then made our way down the Florida Keys Scenic Highway. This was my first time experiencing this drive and as a lover of all things road trips and beautiful drives - I was in my element.
With lyrics of “whatever happened to predictability, the milkman the paper boy and even tv” running through our heads, we stopped at an excellent watering hole that came highly recommended - Burdine’s Waterfront. We were finally starting to relax and falling in love with the Keys and it hadn’t even been 12 hours.
We arrived at our AirBnb which was perfection. A quaint loft with a pool. We enjoyed a glass of wine and a dip in the pool, then turned on Fuller House and binged all things late 80’s nostalgia - we wondered could there be a more prefect way to spend a night? (The answer is no. This is the definition of a perfect night.)
One of the two highlights of the trip, was to pay homage to Judy Blume as she has a fantastic book shop in Key West - Books & Books. It is a bit off the main street, but totally walkable and is certainly worth visiting. As expected, the books are perfectly curated and Judy Blume’s books are highlighted most humbly. Also, included in the book shop is an artist studio which was inspiring and exactly how you would imagine a place created by Judy Blume would be.
The other highlight was to experience Ernest Hemingway’s house. I know that Hemingway is not for everyone, but I am a fan. For Whom the Bell Tolls is one of my favorites. I also find his personal life, expat life and the time in which he lived all very fascinating. We made our way to his house and had a wonderful tour by a guide who was just perfect. Seeing Hemingway’s Florida Keys’ house, brings more color to him as an author as well as his writings. Of course descendants of his dearly loved polydactyl cats run the operation.
After our time as a guest at the Hemingway house we made our way over to his favorite bar Smokey Joe’s for a bite to eat and drinks. These two bookish highlights, sprinkled with some additional time at the beach, and pool, watching Fuller House and enjoying yummy food and cocktails made for a much needed respite to recover from a rather exhausting election season and traumatic travel to the Florida Keys…. so about that!
I once went to hear Rick Steves speak and he spoke to the issue of fear of traveling. One thing he said really stuck with me (and I paraphrase):
Americans typically fear the things they should and typically don’t fear the things they shouldn’t
His point was that, many times things like the fear of terrorists attacks may prevent people from traveling to a place that is actually rather safe. On the converse, travelers may go someplace they believe is safe, but don’t fear things like - forgetting their passports or wallets.
This was never more true than during my trip to the stereotypically, always safe to travel, state of Florida. It was in the Fort Lauderdale airport where I experienced a shooting that was not inflicted by a member of an extremist terrorist group but rather a mentally ill former member of the National Guard. You can read about it by clicking here.
I had misplaced my wallet during deplaning (oh how right Rick Steves is!) and was in the process of retrieving it when it became clear that I was in danger. After some chaotic events, I found myself in a storage closet with other travelers. We were silent, doing all we can to keep sane and make plans for hypothetical situations - all while trying to keep an infant from crying. When the eventual knock came on the door with voices stating they were the police there was a shared moment of “is this it?” that we all felt when we heard the door latch click wondering if it really was police.
The day was long, consisted of a handful of other stressful experiences and I can’t put into words what it was like to finally meet up with Rebecca in our hotel room at an ungodly hour.
Travel is meant to be fun, exciting, relaxing, invigorating and a host of other positives. When a trip that is supposed to be a respite turns into a traumatic tragedy there are feelings that need to be addressed. This experience did not diminish my desire to travel, rather I had a stronger resolve to travel as I didn’t want the “bad guys” to win.
However, this desire to travel was now paired with an intense anxiety that I had never experienced. A month after this trip I was leaving for a 20+ day solo trip to Europe - I was a MESS!
So if you are someone who experiences anxiety in travel - you are not alone. Don’t diminish it.
The aftermath taught me a great deal about how to process and handle trauma. Fortunately my therapist explained how the “body keeps score” and how to care for my mental health in light of traumatic situations. Through talking with her about this experience, I have learned that many of the same strategies can be used for other areas in my life that I experience anxiety.
I will forever be grateful for the best of humanity that I saw that day:
my new friends in the storage closet and one woman in particular who had the amazing ability to make me not only smile, but also laugh - I will forever remember her.
Rebecca who was stuck on a tarmac for unthinkable hours texting me funny quips about her experiences
Sean who was sending me texts with various ideas as to how to get out of the airport - he was dealing with his stress by researching Fort Lauderdale Airport maps.
my brother who was texting prayers and Scripture passages.
and of course the countless law enforcement officials who put their lives on the line to keep us safe.
Yet even with all of this good - the evil act of a mentally ill person with a weapon still impacts me to this day.
If there was ever a list of authors who address the impact of seemingly “large” and “small” traumatic experiences in the development of their characters, I think both Hemingway and Blume should be on it. Authors like these write about the complexity of human experience and their stories really help me. I am so glad I spent time thinking of their work in the days after this airport shooting.
In addition, to friends, reading and therapy, another way I have been able to address my anxiety is by savoring vast outdoor spaces like those I enjoyed during this vacation to Key West. There is just something that these spaces do to my brain that is relaxing and healing. The beaches and oceans I saw the following days, with the seemingly endless horizons helped my body trust itself again. Large outdoor spaces are so good for my well-being: oceans, cornfields, mountain top views, etc. - I love them all.
My hope that as we Read and Travel Far and Wide, we can empower each other to address our fears and anxieties. That what Rick Steves says is taken to heart - that we learn to address our fears no matter where they arise.
If you struggle with travel crippling anxiety - you are not weak or alone.
If all you can do is read blogs and watch travel shows because of your anxiety - that is fine and I’m honored to be a fellow travel companion. And I hope we can celebrate dealing with these fears and anxieties together, no matter how big or small - getting on airplanes, going to far away countries or a different part of town, are all accomplishments worth celebrating!
